1st November 2010

Another day for Bulan. Was last night a full moon.

Bulan rose at about 4 because of mosquitoes having a feast with her flesh. She got up, went downstairs to check whether Yoo is home from watching soccer and Mooz and Hooz did get themselves into their beds. The lights were on, as were tht TV and the fan and the two cute little boys were curled up against each other on the tattered sofa. She ambled to the kitchen, took another mosquito coil and used the gas stove to light it. Then she went back up to sleep. Sloth is still pretty big on her shoulder. There is a task she has not completed work wise. Mother might come today. So she has to be ready.

When she opened her eyes again, it was 7.30 in the morning. She rose, went to the toilet and dragged herself to the study. Switched on her computer and began downloading the work she was supposed to do. Life’s good was her mantra. I always have enough...hmm no..i always have more than enough..MORE than enough. As she typed her work negativity started to invade her..when she had to correct some work that she had to complete while she was drowsy...so many mistakes. Can she trust herself again? Can she be the best, the most sought after? Can she?

Mooz and Hooz don’t need to go to school today..so she could sleep in. Maggie has to go by 11.45 or 12 and her cousin who lives around the corner Zach will be hitching a ride. 

At barely 10 there was a rattle on the door. Maggie..Maggie..open the door please. Mother is at the door. Zhandra who was awake and helping bulan to wash the dishes the boys left last night waddled up the steps panting. Maggie was still lazing around with the cats pretending not to hear me. Sometimes she wonders if Maggie is unhappy to have her as mother. “I didn’t hear you mom” she said raising her tone at the end

Since Zhandra got pregnant, Bulan has had to keep it from Motherr for fear she might fall ill. Religion has made many of us see things in black and white. But life is colourful, why reduce it as such. She is so sorry that she has to keep running away from Mother. She loves mother with all the idiosyncrasies. She is her only mother..the one who bore her for 9 months and had a battle with life to bring Bulan into this realm. She is a light within but the religion has made her uptight and judgmental, waiting for the wrath of God to fall upon anyone who hurt her advertantly or otherwise. Funny thing is everyone seem to want to hurt her, in her eyes. Poor mother. She has grown old lonely, whatever she chased in her younger days have now left her alienated from her children. She loves her mother, but circumstances has made her have to run.

Bulan decides, this year she will make rm200,000. Possible? Possible...that works out to about 17K a month. Definitely achievable. 17k a month is already hers. That has been written